I’ve spoken on this topic of my style and fashion a few times before. Self expression is everything. Especially if you identify as genderqueer as I do. I also spoke about talking about this before. So lets go over this so you understand what I mean. If anything I say doesn’t make sense click this link here. Boom. Shabam. There’s no excuse for not understanding.
I do not identify as female...all of the time. I do not identify as male...all of the time. I identify as a human being that exists all the time. My gender is ever switching/shifting/evolving or however you want to put it. My personal gender pronouns? I use them all. I’ve used he, she, and they when it comes to how people address me.
I’ve never really made a big deal about it. Mostly because it really isn’t anyone’s business how I feel about myself and how I identify. There’s never been any shame. There’s only been privacy.
Now onto what brought this topic up.
I was nervous. Because this was the big moment this is when I was going to be shopping as someone who’s genderless and in need of a suit. It was everything I wanted and needed it to be.
I walked in (late due to my flight landing later than plan and in impromptu meal) and was instantly comfortable about everything that was in front of me. Dom eyeballed my sizes, asked me what I was looking for comfort wise, and gave me a blazer to try on. It fit perfectly and even as I’m typing this I’m having separation anxiety from the first perfect blazer I’ve ever put on. The sleeves fit. The shoulders fit. The chest fit. There were even interior pockets that fit my gargantuan Samsung Galaxy S5 phone.
It was everything.
It was more than clothes. It was a sense of feeling at peace in my own body. I've spent years shopping in the men's, boy's, women's, petite, etc. section for the perfect oxford shirt that still doesn't fit the way I want it to. So when I tried on a shirt from Saint Harridan I felt great. I felt at peace in my own body. It doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s pretty sweet.
Last year was the year of loving and accepting my body through the selfie.
This year is the year of finding clothes that help me love and accept my body. I'm working on colors. I'm working on comfortable. I'm working on everything. I'm going to be ridiculous. I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be bold. I'm going to be honest about what I like. I'm going to be honest about how I want to be seen. It's going to be a fashionable year and I’m on the way there.
I'd like to give special thanks to Saint Harridan. I'd like to thank Dom in particular for in giving me tips and just general understanding of how to style myself in the way I wanted to but didn't know how.
Here's to navigating my style and clawing my way through the fashion binary. Here's to expressing myself not to the terms of what others see, but who I see. Here's to accepting my expression and my style just in the same way I accepted my selfies and my existence.
Here's to shopping.
Yeah. Even I can't believe I just said that.